The Long View: Fonetic


This poem is taken from my recollection of the entry under Weather in Ambrose Bierce's "The Devil's Dictionary":

Wuns I luukt into the fuecher, far as enywun cuud see,
And I saw the cheef forcaster, ded as enywun cuud be.
Ded and damd and shut in hades as a lieer frum his berth
with a record of unreezon seldom parraleld on erth.
As I wocht, he raezd him solmenly, that incandesent yooth
frum the coels that he preferd to the advantejes of trooth.
Then he cast his ies about him, then abuv him, and he roet
on a slab of thin asbestus whut I vencher heer to qoet
for I red it in the roez-liet of that everlasting glo:
"Cloudy, vairiabl winds; showers, cooler; sno."

Copyright © 1998 by John J. Reilly

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